You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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