So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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