its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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