so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
