We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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