...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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