4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
God, I missed his penis.
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