You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
