So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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