Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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