I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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