Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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