found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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