so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
