the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize