Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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