He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
