Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
