Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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