Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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