I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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