Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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