i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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