office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
