Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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