Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
