One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She even gives head with a lisp.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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