Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
