Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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