I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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