THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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