break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
