Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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