all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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