She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
