My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
