I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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