Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
