so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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