Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
They took my balls.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
