I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
