Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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