found the other keg... it's in the tree
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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