So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
