I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i think my cat just said my name.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
