I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
this just has baby written all over it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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