3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Green mimosas i think yes
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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