Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize