I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
