nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
