I think i peed on brittanys purse
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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