ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize