You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
