Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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