id be glad to
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
