Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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