would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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