i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
