super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Sorry about my life...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
