Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
