I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Damn victory sex feels great
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
