i jhust puked up my retainher.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
