I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize