In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
