I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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