come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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