Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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