he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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