if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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