i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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