Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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