so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
not ubering you a puppy
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize