I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize